Etiquette

Your new neighbor has a large dog that roams off leash. It scares your children who no longer feel comfortable playing in their own yard.

Do you...

a) leave a note for the neighbor asking them to keep the dog on a leash
b) take this as an opportunity to introduce yourself to the neighbor with a bottle of wine and flowers
c) post a "no dogs allowed" sign in your yard

The answer?

b. take this as an opportunity to introduce yourself. then knock the neighbor over the head with the bottle of wine, gulp the entire bottle yourself, slit the neighbor's throat with the sharp, broken bottle, and use the empty bottle as a vase for the flowers.

And YES, I'm only KIDDING. Gosh.