Shit. We're out of toilet paper and I just had to "Drip dry" as my mom always said, because for some reason we were always running out of toilet papper when I was a kid. I'm really DRUNK. I haven't drunk blogged in a while. Maybe tomrrow when I'm sobver I'll put a link up to my first drunk blog post, which was copied and distributed to my distant relatives by my mom last thanksgiving./ i'M DRINKING pACICIFIo, left over from our cinco de mayo dinner the other night. I put lime juice uin it cause it makes it better. So anyway, I sent jASON Off to Las Vegas today. I'm gonna miss him while he's gone. We've had a really good week or so since he's been home. Check out his blog if you want,. I can't do a link right now because the Pacifico keeps me from it. I just watcjhed a really shitty movie called Safe. It's by Todd Haynes, who isi an amazing director. But this movie stunk to high heaven. It stars Julianne Moore. Get it? It "stinks to high heaven"? I'm prety funny. That;s a Leboswki quote. Nayway, it's about this ladyt who lives an upperclass life who gets really sick and they decide it's allergies to the environment, and she joins this Jim Jones-esque weirdo haven for environmental illness people and it's set in 1987 ans the only decent thing about the movie is the soundtrack. Cause they play Billy Ocean. and I LOVE Billy Ocean. Get ouuttta my dreams [get in the backseat baybayyy] get into my car [beep beep, yeah.] But the movie could havebeen cut down tremendously. Seriously, it was like 45 mivutes too long. There were periouds where there were long lulls for no reason. And Todd Haynes is famous for really striking colors and beautiful cinematography... But this movie lacked it all. As my brother said, when he walked in halfway through the movie,m "I wouldn't want to know any of these peope in real life,.:" CAuse all the chracters were somehwat despicable. Mmmm.Pacifico is good. I'm venturing away from my usual frozen strawberry margarita. I havne't had ythis many beers in a while. Maybe tromrorow I'll puyt a link up to my original drunk blog post from my Mysapce page. it was really funny. I don't blog on Myspace anymore because I'm tired of the poelple who oput meaningless posts up. SO What else? We watched Serenity last night. It was really freakin good. If you watched the serioes "Firefly" at all, you'';ll liove the movie,. It's just like an epsidoe of the show, only it's much more intense. But I was really hoping for a sex scene with Mal, but it didn't happen. He's really hot. And I think I can say thatm Bceuase I think Paris Hilton changed her catrchphrase. yeah, the dude who plays Mal (his name is Nathan something) he's hot. And I'm glad the chracter Kaylee was in the movie. She's my favorite. I was surprsied that River had such a big par tin the movie, beacuse she was sort of a side charactwer in the tv shoew. Sereneity is about this group of thieves who are runnign from the Aliiance and also from these manflesh eating monstesr called reavers. I think if someone hadn't een the shoe firefly they might be a little confuised about the cast, which is my only criticismn. Enara - the aristocratic prostitute - plays a somehwat insiginficant role in the movie, and I was expacting mroe from her. What else? I submitte all my grades today so I'm officially done with my teaching for the spring semester. And I'm not teaching this summer, which means I need to make a bunch of good art. Theres a movie out about the Bell Witch called an american Haunting. The bell withch cave is right down the road from our house. I grew up here. I live in the same house I was raised in, as weird as that may sound.l Yeah, I'm sheltered, i know it. anyway, when I was a kid, the slumber party thing was to go ito the bathroom alone in the dark, and say three times:" I hate the bell witch" while spinning in cicrles, and the bell witch was suppsed to show up in the bathroom mirror and scratch your face. I nebver made it past the first recitation. Im sure everyone had their own version of that same silly game - but the bell witch was a local story. and evreyone around here has been to the bell witch cave mutliple times. The bell witch cave property went up for sale just a few years ago, and it was super cheap - anyone coud have bought it. Luckily, the family that bought it is interested in the tradition of the story and gives tours and such. I hope the movie is good.My friend Lydia bloggeda bout the movie/ You can check our her review if you lok at my list of blogs worth reading. I have to pee aqgain. hang on be right back.

K. peed./ wsih I had something funny to werite aobut because I'm crackingm yslef up. when i turned 21, i used ot get drunk in my dorm apartment by myslf, and email peope or call people on the phone. it was funy. I re]member onenuight I drank a whole 6 pack of FOster's by myself. Iw as reallyt into Ruseell Crowe at thej time, hence all things austrrailain. Isn't he a new zealander, thouigh? Anyway, I cracked my shit up back in those days. NOw I just drink and fall asleep./ Gues thayt's what happens when yuou get old. eh? I had a pet rat named chester copperpot when I was in college. He was a dalmation rat, and he was trained like a dog. He'd come hwne i calle dhis name, and spin in the air for treats; He even starred in a perforamance art piece I did. He got an upper respiratory infectrion and died. Then I had a pet squirrel in my dorm aparmtnet. HIs name was Hickory,. I raised him for 3 months and let him go at my grandma's house. He lived there for a couple years before I think he died ofold age,. One day I was at my grandma's and I heard a sound at the door - I opened uit and Hickory was stting there, scratching to get in the house. Jason hated him. But he wa my baby, I wuold take him omn field trips on our college campus. I had ihim on a leash and I'd let him climb a tree as high as he could go, then I pull him off and put him back at the bottome, so he'd get used to climbimg trees. I tried to acclimate him into the wild as best I could. Now I just have two dogs, Bonnie and Brodie. Bonnie is a petite little princess, but she's scrappy. She'll fight with anyhting. And Brodie, whom I have had for four years, is my baby boy - he's sort of a wimp./ he growls at things and then hides. They are both west highland whit terriers./ ALl I hAVe to do tomrroew is get my check from school and send some auctio things toBob if Jason gives me his mailinv address. Mught sleep in amd stay up late./ But I think I need to make coffee. I havn'=t dne that in a while. Thin the last pacifico is catching up with mne.

There's a sasquatch behind our house.

He screams every night. No joke. My brother Josh went looking for it one night with a flashlight and he saw two pointy ears, and said it's a fox or a coyote. Well no shit we have foxes and cotyotes - they're runnignfrom thefreaking sasquatch! Ever seen the movie "Legend of Boggy Creek"? Wtach it. It's the scariest movie besides the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre that there is. Because it's so realistic./ ANd I think we have our very own sasquatch, and it's doing some sort of mating call every night, but there's not female for it, so it's getting restless. We have black widow spiders and brown recluse spiders and cottonmouth snakes - aka water moccasins - and rattlesnakes and copperhead snakes. Those are the only lethal things we have around here. Besides bobcats and black bears and panthers and wow - guess there';s a lot of things to watch out for besides sasquatches, but the othgers don't scream in my backyard every night. dreamt that my mom and I won a trip to iceland the other night. And I had to explain to her that iceland is green and that greenland is iccey. and we had a good time there. We flew into reykjavik, in the dream of course. ever looked at a plane ticket to there? Jason and I liooked at a buncg of places for our honeymoon, and juist the place ticket to reykjavik alone was akmost $2000. Sheesh! So we drove across ythe USA for three weeks,. We went to Carlsbad Caverns and Roswell New Mexivo and whatever tha mountain chain is in arkansas and the grand caynoyn And las vegas. I shuold probably go to bed soon. K. goodnight,